-Blaise Pascal
Epilogue
This is the closure of a very happy chapter in my life, though short...very short it was.
She called me, and I perfectly understood. Perhaps I was not good enough, perhaps he didn't like me from the start, perhaps THEY didn't like me from the start. It doesn't matter now.
I hope you would still read this last post. I will never forget you; you who brought so much joy and fun into my life. I had thought, back then, I could learn to love once more. Now my heart has turned to concrete, and I will never love once more.
Because like what another has said, when I give my love and trust, it is solid, it is total. And when it is rejected, I simply patch it up and go on with life. I will become cynical, I will not see you anymore, since it is her wish.
Do you truly understand what I mean to say here? There are 2 holes in my heart now, which can never be filled; there is a missing ingredient in what I would define 'love'; and I would never know 'love' anymore.
I just...don't understand why you don't tell me things yourself. "Completely honest" - that was total bullshit coming from you.
I'm not angry - that comes later. I'm not crying - how to cry when my mom is nearby? Painfully smile, that's what I'll do. And -if- I see you in school...I don't think so.
Thank you for all the good memories, and all the times that you treated me so nicely. It made me consider shedding the emotional armour; and for once, I'd thought I could touch heaven, that I could drop all my emotional baggage and soar...
I'll love you from a distance - I love all my friends. It hurts sometimes - no, all the time, in my case - but I just pick up the shattered parts of me and go on. Life is like this for me.
If you ever need someone to talk to, and you have no one else, I am here. I hope you remember that, because I have been told TWICE never to contact you again. You will have to contact me first.
And my good friend asked me, 'What are you gonna do if he asks you again?'
I don't know. I don't want to know. You don't want me anymore, that's fine. I just ask that you remember me, fondly, if you can. Because I know I will do that, and that I still care for you. But you will not use me anymore...
Goodbye.
Fin.
Maya
Leo
Dragon
100888
And I don't want the world to see me
I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Strength
Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.This is a card of courage and energy.
It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it.
Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot.
With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.
Wishlist
PSP Jewel Door Mod + Skin
Learn to contact juggle professionally
Play DDR well (so that I can lose weight)
Determination in all that I do
Never be hurt again
Be the best at whatever I do
Be happy with what I have
Bluetooth headphones
A good laptop bag (preferbly Crumpler =X)
Likes
Racing
DotA
Arcade games
Hanging out
+designed by jenqi 2005 copyright+
Archives
Project Racing Devil
Start: 11 Feb 2008
End: None
Description: Constantly improve myself
Status: Ongoing. I will improve myself...I will not fail you guys
Project SSS
Start: 16th March 2008
End: Tentative mid 2009
Description: Being the first, one and only is really tempting. And then there are my personal reasons..
Project Tuning Gay
Start: End 2008
End: ???
Description: Complete dress-up
Status: Got my card liao..time for dress-up
Project Racing Hearts 2
Start: 20th Feb 2008
End: 29th Feb 2008
Description: FT car, complete dress-up and *ahem*
Status: Completed
Project Racing Hearts 1
Start: 16th Feb 2008
End: 16th Feb 2008
Description: Change car appearance to look identical
Status: Completed
Project Setting
Start: 11 Feb 2008
End: 11 Feb 2008
Description: Change parts as needed
Status: Completed
Project Stock
Start: 10 Feb 2008
End: 10 Feb 2008
Description: Change all parts to stock
Status: Completed