-Blaise Pascal
Misgivings
Should I be having misgivings so soon after what has happened? Why can't I shrug this feeling of uncertainty off?
Is it because everything happened too fast, too soon?
I'm just so scared. My feelings aren't clear, but the feeling that pops up to the top..is fear. I feel my 'stable' future is...crumbling. Not that I had a stable future in the first place, but at least, I understood what could happened if...if...
And yet, I feel..glad.
Glad that I could be totally honest with you, glad that what happened has happened, because I've been mollycoddled before. Because..it has revealed to me a side of the word 'relationship' that I've never seen before.
I wish I could call you, but it's 2 in the morning..I don't want to appear needy, whining...and least of all, I don't want to wake you up...You must be tired - I know I am after all that exercise and games.
From a 3rd person's point of view..it hurts me..that I could think of you like this; but I AM afraid..I AM scared. I can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes, I think about this. This brooding is killing me; and now I wish I'd talked to her when she'd offered me the chance - if I did, could I have slept better?
Could my misgivings have been erased? It's not as simple as you think. In the end, I guess the whole day just...didn't go the way I wanted it to. And while I'm used to it, I'm not. I'm a spoilt brat who charms people to get her way.
Even after writing to you twice, I can't shake this feeling..
It hurts me, it hurts us...and I'm sorry...
Please forgive me, my dear, my darling...
Maya
Leo
Dragon
100888
And I don't want the world to see me
I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Strength
Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.This is a card of courage and energy.
It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it.
Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot.
With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.
Wishlist
PSP Jewel Door Mod + Skin
Learn to contact juggle professionally
Play DDR well (so that I can lose weight)
Determination in all that I do
Never be hurt again
Be the best at whatever I do
Be happy with what I have
Bluetooth headphones
A good laptop bag (preferbly Crumpler =X)
Likes
Racing
DotA
Arcade games
Hanging out
+designed by jenqi 2005 copyright+
Archives
Project Racing Devil
Start: 11 Feb 2008
End: None
Description: Constantly improve myself
Status: Ongoing. I will improve myself...I will not fail you guys
Project SSS
Start: 16th March 2008
End: Tentative mid 2009
Description: Being the first, one and only is really tempting. And then there are my personal reasons..
Project Tuning Gay
Start: End 2008
End: ???
Description: Complete dress-up
Status: Got my card liao..time for dress-up
Project Racing Hearts 2
Start: 20th Feb 2008
End: 29th Feb 2008
Description: FT car, complete dress-up and *ahem*
Status: Completed
Project Racing Hearts 1
Start: 16th Feb 2008
End: 16th Feb 2008
Description: Change car appearance to look identical
Status: Completed
Project Setting
Start: 11 Feb 2008
End: 11 Feb 2008
Description: Change parts as needed
Status: Completed
Project Stock
Start: 10 Feb 2008
End: 10 Feb 2008
Description: Change all parts to stock
Status: Completed