Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Tired - Day 15 and 16

Worked Tuesday night, then chiong work again this morning. Just came back from work..so tired. Was ACTUALLY LATE for work this once. I swear it'll never happen again..

But good thing today (Wednesday) wasn't busy, and I had Aunty Lay Keng with me =) Else it would have been her and it would be...ZOMG freaking busy~

Guess nothing much to write about. I waiting to get to DBG only. Don't even KNOW if I'm going actually. Leg pain, backache..how to go and play a proper game? And wear what??? XD

Faint.

See you on Friday, and see you guys on Sunday~


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Will - Day 14

BROKE SCORE AGAIN~

But by 10k. But now at least I had Michael to take a picture for me =D Thank you Mic!

Improved time and accuracy. Wish I didn't make so many stupid mistakes though.

*shivers* I will never wear slippers to DBG ever again. My slippers too thick, cannot feel the pedal properly, so had to take them off for yesterday's one and only break-score game. My toes were freezing by S2A2 - the pedal was so cold!!

After end game (so many people watching zzz) I was looking at my score "hmmm did I break or not ?" Seeing that it was only 7,250,080, so I thought never break score. End up, I checked my phone..and then I yelled and started jumping around again: "Yay!! Break score break score!" Everyone was staring at me and I was like "w00tz XD"

So high yesterday - never expected to break score in my first game. The wonders friends can do for you XD

After that we ate at KFC, and chatted till almost 10pm - almost 2.5 hours XD

Now, I just waiting to go dentist. Sigh. I should have cancelled the appointment yesterday when the lady called to confirm...then can sleep more. My entire body aching XDDD

Guys arh, badminton this Sunday, I prolly have to borrow a racquet...XD


Monday, February 26, 2007

Counting - Day 12 and 13

This post is for Day 12 and 13 (yesterday missed a post XD)

Physically, he's here. Yet I still can't see him.

Counting down the hours till I get to see your face..

Just knocked off, now rushing to DBG.

Yesterday (Sunday) was shitty. Went work early in the morning, thinking I would be working all by my lonesome self for the whole day..end up, miscommunication, my other colleague (who originally couldn't work) came to work.

Great.

NEVER MIND. Sunday was great actually. After work (closed early w00tz~ coz no customers T.T) chiong to DBG for a game. I'm glad that I could hit 7.2m again. Now must stablize at 7.2m. Must consistent.

Today, chiong morning shift at Ghim Moh..I can't believe after the whole shift, only earn 500++. Some more cik said very busy.

Coz she beating the waffle mix.

End up she's now only washing the clothes and the trays used.

Coz she beating the waffle mix.

I can't believe she took so long. I thought she say beat 9 (actually also cannot, must be even number..XD) then I help her put away the first few tubs. Then suddenly, she beat a new batch again.

Totally stuck outside on my own. Heng today very little customer cake order, as well as checking orders for Prima and customers.

Ha. Now really REALLY back pain. Sian. I guess I'll rush off now.

HUGS ALL~ XDD


Saturday, February 24, 2007

Jubilation - Day 11

YES!! Break score TWICE in 2 hours! 7.19m, then...

7.24 million! Will post up the picture when I get it from Mic..



A scoresheet for Sifu, since he wasn't there:

Prologue: Ending 520k.

S1A1: 1.57m (stunned. Slightly higher than my average. I think my area score was around 810k)
S1A2: Bloody area pulled me down. 2.3m. Broke the raising the altitude part by over-compensating for the different calibration. DAMN. Broke missiles link by mis-guessing. DAMN.
S1A3: Average. Ended with 3.3m I must have done SOMETHING correct. Most likely a lot of 1H2B.

S2A1: Shitty. Freebeat terrorbites 3SB for 180+hits. 220k for area score if I'm not wrong. Ending: Low 3.7m. Quite stunned.
S2A2: ZOMG. LOUSY FARKING SCORE. Ended with mid 4.4m (slightly higher than my usual) Reason why I said my score was freaking low was because in the 2nd scene, I missed a total of about 7 shots on the people. GREAT. JUST GREAT.
S2A3: WTFZOMGLOLBBQ!!!!11111SHIFT-1!! Entered the stage with only 196 MG. SG was full though. I broke about..2 times at the start before the special link. BASKET. The gun's calibration suddenly jumped. Missed the 2nd set of terrorbites, grenaded TOO LATE and end up stunning the boss instead. WTF. But area score was 520~k and ending score was a low 5.33m. I'm proud to say that my ROF improved though XD

S3A1: 160k area score. I'm beginning to love this stage. Trying to find a way to do the link again for UCAVs, since I can consistently shoot down 4 now. Must try for 5 le XD First wave always miss last hit. Sigh.
S3A2: Beautiful. 77 hits after 2nd set of missiles - a first for me. Free beat Wild Dog until no more MG. I LIKE! Ending score: 6.4m. At this point in time, I knew I had to break score else I would never forgive myself.
S3A3: I think I could have done better at the last scene before Final Battle. Still not sure how to manage my weapons. Think harder girl!!
Final Battle: Always rape the satellites till ~9hits then I SIAN T.T



So like that lor.

FAINT. Just heard that another player got 7.381m. And to think I thought I beat him. FAINT.

ANYWAY. When I saw my score (there was a group of people behind me watching me for a long time) I yelled and ran out of the arcade, screamed at Didi, Mic and Max that I got 7.2m. Then I got Didi to take picture for me; I ran back into the arcade. The group of people behind me actually wanted to play Link, so I asked them if they wanted to watch the ending cutscene (which was actually ending, but heck) Then the guy I asked said 'You quite pro leh' I was like 'NO LA' XD then after that, the cutscene finished and I took a look at my time and accuracy - 28.40 and 70.~%. One of the guys in that group was like saying 'Waaa look at her accuracy' but I couldn't be bothered as I was hurrying Didi to take my score XDD

Then just before we left, I went in and told the girl in that group how to calibrate, coz when I started my game, she played P2..said the gun was sucky. Yeah CHARITY hooooo~~ *insert hard-gay-hip-thrusting-emote here*


Self-highing now. But backache and ankle pain XD So much for breaking score. XD


Friday, February 23, 2007

Friends - Day 10

10 days le. 10 days never see my eye candy. Surprising how I haven't..like, suicided or something. This means that my decision WAS the right one. XDD


But never mind, day 11 will have me hanging out with my Klique!!! w00t!! Long time no see, talk and hear le! =) We'll be housing hopping and then I'll hopefully be able to get my eyebrows threaded and then Ren can teach me how to use eyeliner!!!

I'm just glad that I will always have you guys =D

Today nothing much..played a game of DotA in the afternoon..shiok. Good to see my Razor still CAN MAKE IT!

But then my status as KS Queen dunno go where le XDD Maybe coz I didn't get the right items.

Then went for flute..played all the old songs..Simple Samba, Tantalising Tango, Haunting Habernera...I really must find that book so I can play all the songs again. Simple Samba was really nice to play..brings back a lot of memories...

Anyway, tomorrow will be a GOOD day! Morning chiong ang pows with Klique, afternoon chiong TC4 with Z.F XDD




Promises - Day 9

Promises were meant to be broken. At least, the ones I make to myself. Time and again, these promises served as my emotional armour, one that would protect myself from whatever worldly hurts.

But breaking them meant hurting myself. On one hand, I don't ever want to be hurt again. On the other, I often open myself to hurt, because..friends don't need emotional armour between them. They are each other's emotional armour.

Did I mention that it's times like this that I really wish I could die and stop hurting those around me?

Guess my decision was for the best, and that I made the right one for the long run.

Wean myself away. Cold turkey.

All the better for me. I don't know about him though, but I did what I feel is correct.

Funny how I seem to operate on touchy-feely, instead of thinking. But then again, I have thought it through. If I didn't get to see him so much, then I wouldn't feel this way anymore, and the world could continue in peace. My armour would still be intact, and I would be Maya once more.

Why does my decision make me cry and laugh at the same time?


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Work - Day 8

Well, eye candy will be visible in a few more days (at least, I hope so XD)

Woke up in the morning to find the computer's 'ignite' button couldn't work. Same old stupid problem again..

Pulled out the front cover of the computer (chipped about 4 nails in the the process) to find that the spring isn't exactly working. I couldn't take out the HDDs so I can't check.

Nearly fainted when I saw all the dust there. Proceeded to clean it all out. Stupid rust chipped another nail.

*sighs* Now I left the front cover loose, so everytime can just pull it off and 'manually' start the computer.

Ah well, off to work in about 5 hours! XDD




Elation - Day 7

Spent half the day (making up for a lost post, so this ought to be dated 21/2/07, Wed) on the computer and the other half at DBG.

When we were at DBG, met up with a nice guy (I only found out his name like hours after he left XD - Clement) Hey, he DID agree that Subway's chewy cookies were like, the best around XDD

Played 7s, Spades and then Bridge..kenna stopped by the police patrol ("I charge you guys with gambling, so stop playing now") T.T So never mind, I go play TC4. Clement played P2 as I started on P1 as well..damn that game was good.

S2A3 played beautifully - 544k as area score
S3A1 played beautifully - Managed the link from helicopter to UCAVs, got 4 UCAVs. Total hits 71. Ended Wild Dog drag scene slightly faster than usual. Area score: 177k
S3A2 played so-so, even though ALW said it was nice.

Damn. Could have broken score if not for my lousy playing in S1A2. Ending S1A2 total score: 2,299,900. 100 points more!! *curses* XD

Ending game score: 7.13m

Damn. Damn. Damn.

But damn the game felt good!!


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cut and Paste - Day 6

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before

So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before

So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real


- Linkin Park

~

"What is real? How do you define real? Is reality what you can see, touch, hear and smell? If so, reality is just electrical signals to your brain"


*sigh* So now, I feel like...so mao2 dun4. What is my decision now??

On one hand, my head tells me to stop feeling the way I am feeling about him right now, and just...act normally. This will hurt no one but myself, and isn't that good?

I'm a freak, I always hurt those I love, intentionally and unintentionally.

But on the other hand, my heart longs to..cry out to him, let him know the truth.

Whatever happened to the impulsive girl who spilled her heart when she was drunk? Who proclaimed her feelings, no matter the outcome?


Will time tell? Do I even talk about this to close guy friends? (Don't mention girl friends coz I talk about everything with them) How would -he- feel if I told -him- about him? 2 different guys, yet much loved by me.

Heaven, please be more forgiving, why must I fall for these kind of guys? Or is it just coz I'm too desperate? But he's like a drug to me..I don't know why this time, kenna affected so much. Is it because he accepted me at face value, without judgement?

Scary leh. T.T


Monday, February 19, 2007

Right on time - Day 5

Well, today was boring. Shut myself in my aunt's room and played custom maps of WC3 all the way: DotA being the first and most played. Tried a new game too: Pudge Wars..basically the 'story' is DotA-ers who use Pudge can't hook properly, so this is -the- training map for Pudge XD

It was fun playing, but the map itself was buggy - when one player leaves the game, the respawning of Baby Pudges won't continue XDD

Then had reunion dinner, oh and played Blackjack. My youngest brother's really good at it, though he just started...lol..But if he ever turns into a compulsive gambler, the only thing that could pull him away from the tables would be the sound of the lion dance troupe (tong tong chang!) XD

Ah well, I only won 10cents, while my youngest bro won 1SGD++ XDD But then again, I didn't bring any money to the table (all borrowed from my mom and youngest brother) so I didn't lose anything XD

Going to TC4 tomorrow! Zone X's got the 28-28 promotion! C'mon everyone!! Chiong arh!!


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Heartfelt - Day 4

Today was busy, with church in the morning (it's a Sunday after all) and then a mini party at my grandparents' place with all the choir members, then visiting my mom's side's relatives.

The last person we visited was my maternal grandmother (I call her porh-porh). It was quite sad..she couldn't recognise us very much due to poor eyesight and a stroke. She mistook me for my mom (which most people do) and seemed to refuse to let me go at the end of the visit..I felt..no, it wasn't pity, but just sadness, because my childhood memories of her was a lady who didn't know much except for how to love us - which was more than enough. She often cooked meals when we went over, insisting that we ate (even though we already did) and..well, she was just..really, really nice.

And seeing her so weak now just..makes me feel so..like, omg, i wanna cry, you know? I think using the word "sad" here is totally an understatement. T.T

What made it worse was that I didn't understand much Hokkien - well, I understood most, but she mumbled (lost her teeth) and some of the more advanced Hokkien I didn't understand. I understood that she wanted me to study really really hard (I swear I will do my best, porh-porh..) before I go to work, so that I will not waste my childhood.

And while her dinner smelt good, she didn't like it ("muay ngiam ngiam gai" - porridge too sticky). It was difficult for her to eat, having to stop every few minutes to wipe at her mouth. *sighs*

It's time like this I wish I had someone to lean on, because..wow..it just rocked me to the core to see people so helpless and that I can't help.

At the same time, it's crystal clear that my eye candy will never..feel the same way I do about him, so what's the use?

DotA time...bb~




Happy Chinese New Year!!

So HCNY to everyone yeah..Now doing all that family and friends and relatives stuff XD Getting chased out of the kitchen this year is a first, as I usually help my family in preparing the goodies for the mini-party that we always have with my grandfather's choir...

Not to mention that I'm getting chased off the computer by my brother.. T.T

Anyway, I'd better go entertain. Hopefully I can put pictures of myself up later, in my CNY dress XD Goal for this year: Lose weight to actually LOOK GOOD in the dress XDD


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Gathering - Day 3

Well, Day 3 wasn't as busy as I'd predicted. For one, I'd slept in till around 11am (only to wake up to find that my brother was having tuition, so I went back to sleep till 12noon XD) then practised my flute for tomorrow's duet with my friend =) Supposed to have gone down to Prima Deli to help with the stock, but end up wow, woke up so late... XDD

Watched some TV (Shrek 2 was on!! First time I watched the entire show through XD And was singing "I Need a Hero" ) XDD

After which, painted nails (*looks down at nails* Er..I think I overdid it. Now instead of wine-coloured nails, I've got black nails instead. T.T) and went back to sleep. Yawn. Then mom woke me up to get ready for reunion dinner, which was SUMPTIOUS~~ Bagus~ Hen hao~ Very good~ XD c'est tou j'taime! I like! XD

Ma (my grandmother) cooked a lot! The soup (my favourite - pig's stomach soup) was cooked a little salty and didn't have the pepper kick I always look forward to, but the honey-baked chicken wings more than made up for it! Oh not to mention the minced meat on mushroom...mmmm Oh and the ah-char was really good..mm..But I took alot of the soup..Yum..

I feel hungry again le! XDD

Not feeling unhappy le, coz everything has tide-ed over! We can all celebrate once more! I hope my eye candy is enjoying his holidays! So near, yet so far! Could I tahan the journey if I wanted to go over? Anything for my eye candy and a bit of sweetness!!

Happy Angpow week to all!! XDDD

Oh yeah, one more thing to address - this blog doesn't have space for comments, so all must tag my board! XD


Friday, February 16, 2007

Celebration - Day 2

Well well well. So many things to celebrate!

1. I broke score for TC4. Not much, but I still did it! And with lots of cute guys (all decked out in red tops..hmmm..cute XD) watching me as well. Kudos to didi for reminding me that I have..or had..'fans' watching me XDDD

2. Ruzhi broke score as well. Congrats!!! Dunno how you did it but you did it! Soon you'll be getting 7m and I'll be..still oh-I'm-quaking-in-my-pants =P

3. It's the eve of CNY eve and I already got 120SGD in my angpow collection! And I managed to remember to buy guinea pig food, else my guinea pig would be starving. T.T

4. No more pain in my molar. Don't know if I should be grateful, as I took 1/2 hour to fall asleep last night with the damn pain. Dentist's appointment on 26th. Hopefully it's just the filling that dropped out.


So..while my eye candy isn't visible now..I'm still grateful and happy =D

Day 3...probably a busy day XD


Thursday, February 15, 2007

Abstinence - Day 1

And now the real test starts.

Sigh. Already feeling so down. Maybe this was why on V-day itself feeling so depressed le. T.T

Dunno how I will tide through the Chinese New Year with the following:

1. No eye candy
2. Period
3. No friends to hang out with (all busy CNY-ing)
4. Limited time on the computer
5. Stupid chalet to organise
6. Lousy holidays
7. Work

The only thing I guess I can look forward to is the juggling class, and probably TC4.




Well then...!

Thank you Liping and Karen for helping me set up my blog! Can't believe how I couldn't do it when I'm the one studying IT.

This blog was supposedly emo, but end up, it's okay, I love it! I probably won't change the design, as it suits me now (and maybe forevermore).

Now time to head off to work. If there's anything you don't like about my blog, drop me a line~




First Post

"Now the time has come to leave you..."

Posting this a day after hanging out with my friends on Valentine's 07...leaves a kind of ringing melancholy in me.

As I said to ALW and Ruzhi, "Valentine's is best spent with friends".

1.5 games of Time Crisis 4, good food and good friends..What more could I ask for?

A lot.

No point talking about it..Being single rawks!

friends:) Ren Lipz K.C. Team BuL7et Nanaca-Crash